I woke up early on a Saturday morning to go on a ride. My friend has been begging me all week to go on this charity ride with her, since the person it was for is associated with our university. I told her that we weren't ready, since we have only been doing ~10 mile rides (I started converting her to Tri at the beginning of this semester). She persisted, and I wasn't going to leave her hanging, so we went.
I put on my favorite cycling kit and gathered all of my cycling gear and my bike. I loaded the car and I was on my way.
I was so nervous when I arrived, because I decided that today was the day that I was going to ride in my cycling shoes and clipless pedals for the first time out on the road. My therapist told me to practice in a parking lot a few times before riding on the road. His words were, "I don't want to have to treat you for a broken collarbone!" Well...he wasn't specific about when I needed to practice in the parking lot and how far in advance to riding that I practiced. I took my bike out of the car, rode two laps around the parking lot, and practiced clipping out and stopping a few times. It was a success...so I was ready to ride!
The ride was thrilling, my friend and I were not even close to the slowest people. In fact, I was one of the fastest on flat ground and going down hill. The hill climbs are what killed me. My baby calves are so weak that those were really tough. I had to dig deep, deeper than deep, to make it up all of those hills. I have chills thinking about those hills right now. So many of the other riders were encouraging me and cheering me on during the climbs.
I realized that while I was riding, being back on my bike feels so natural. My handling skills and confidence came right back with the switch to my clipless pedals. I am much more accustomed to those. Before my surgeries, I had never actually ridden my road bike with flat pedals before, only my clipless pedals. Boy am I happy to be back to business as usual on the bike...except for my calf strength.
Duration: 01:38:23
Average Speed: 12.04 mph
Distance: 19.74 miles
Birthday Party
To celebrate my birthday, I invited my friends and family over to the theatre room in my apartment building for a game watching party. I swear my first love is college football. My alma mater had a big game, so it was a perfect Saturday to have people over to watch it. It was so much fun and low key like I like my birthday celebrations to be. It really is just another day for me. I think of it more as a day of reflection of how far I have come in the last year and where I want to go in the next year. I guess I view it as my personal new years. Nothing to celebrate per say, just a moment to pause and think about the status of my life.
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Reflection
Days like today make me feel alive again. Make me feel like I am not just going through the motions to survive, like I am actually enjoying my days again. I used to live the $4*+ out of my days. Live with reckless abandon. Live so passionately. Live like there is no tomorrow. My motto was seriously YOLO (you only live once) before Drake came up with it. I packed so much into every day and tried to be the best I could be every moment. I worked towards accomplishing each and every one of my goals daily. With the surgeries, I turned my attention to survival. Just make it through the day without crying. Just make it through the day without letting your pain break your spirit. Just make it through the day without asking, Why me? Just make it though your therapy exercises, icing, and elevating. Just focus on the positives in your life, not what's wrong with it.
Now....I just want to live. To love. To laugh. To be happy. To be whole again.
I may not be there yet, but I am well on my way.
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