This is my second to last PT session. I have one left next Thursday. Since PT is coming to an end soon, I started thinking about what skills I am most nervous about teaching myself.
I know I am doing pretty well now in most ADLs but the one big thing that still scares me is that I have no avoidance skills. I am literally terrified to be in a crowd for the chance that someone might step in front of me and cut me off or that I end up in a situation that I need to move away quickly and I can't. I have perfected leaning out of the way without moving my feet, but I still have serious issues with stopping and going quickly.
This is another thing that has seriously affected my personality. I am such a social person, but since I have absolutely none of the "flight" in the "fight or flight" response, I have avoided going anywhere with large crowds for most of this year. The horror film that has played over and over in my head all of this time is that one of these situations would cause me to fall and I end up twisting or breaking one of my ankles. Basically undoing or worsening the work done in my surgeries, causing me to have another surgery. I've already had to go through two rather extensive surgeries, I absolutely do NOT want to have to have a third. I often refer to my new feet as babies, and have had to treat them that way to protect them from injury in their vulnerable stages.
My therapist had me do heel raises and I told him that I wanted to work on my avoidance skills for the reasons described above.
My therapist sat up a little cone obstacle course and made me have to stop and go on his command. He tried to catch me when I was least expecting it. He also made me walk down a hallway and he told me to start and stop, almost like I was playing red light green light. I was so awkward doing these things at first but the more I did them the more relaxed my body was and the better I reacted. I seriously appreciate the effort that my therapist put in to coming up with these drills. He described to me how difficult it is to simulate a spontaneous event, but I definitely think that these drills added a little to my confidence.
After we transitioned to manual therapy. My therapist worked on my scars and on my calves. While he was working on me, he told me that my ankles are as strong as anyone else's at this point. That my risk of having an ankle injury is no higher than anyone else. This certainly reassured me and silenced some of my fears.
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Off to work after therapy and then for a walk after work.
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Walk
Duration: 00:54:11
Average Speed: 3.76 mph
Distance: 3.40 miles
Fastest mile to date was mile 2 of this walk that I completed in 14:33 @ 4.12 mph!!!!
This is much closer to where I need to be before I can think about transitioning to running.
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Reflection
Today, I faced some of my fears and came out stronger and more confident. I am on a roll people!!! Definitely choosing the positive definition of FEAR (see below).
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