I honestly have been so busy with finishing my dissertation, traveling to and presenting at the conference, and interviewing for jobs, that I haven't had the time to really stop and think and process that I am about to go through this all again. I also haven't had nearly as much time to prepare my apartment and my personal affairs for the rough road of recovery that I have ahead of me.
Mentally I have been going through the cycle of convincing myself that I don't need the surgery, don't want to go through the surgery, that it doesn't really hurt THAT bad, before I come to my senses and know that I need the surgery. It is the same cycle I went through before my first surgery. At my last appointment my doctor made it clear for me. He showed me how misaligned my right foot is now, which is just as bad as my left foot was before. No questions asked. My right foot needs surgery to give me my best chance of walking normally again and returning to my activities of daily living, and in the best case scenario, to an active lifestyle.
Tomorrow I continue my fight to one day return to living life without pain in every step of every day. I will have to learn how to walk for the third time in my life and for the second time this year. It will get worse, waaaaay worse, before it gets better, but at 5 months post-op from my left surgery, I do know that it does get better.
At 7:45 am tomorrow, I continue this journey.
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