I wasn't sure how this session was going to go. I hadn't seen my therapist since last Thursday, BEFORE my right ankle had collapsed.
When I got there, my therapist wanted me to take my ankle brace off and warmup on the arc trainer. I had rehearsed in my head over and over how I would break the news about my right foot to him, but I wasn't expecting to have to spill the beans so early in the appointment. I had to tell him, because with my right foot collapsed, this means that I can no longer do any weight bearing exercises that involve that foot. This will MAJORLY limit the recovery of my left. I was just starting to add exercises back that required me to be standing and weight bearing.
I told him straight. "I don't think that that is such a great idea, because my right foot has fully collapsed and I can no longer do a single heel raise."
He stood there in shock. We both knew that the right was not in good shape, but we didn't expect it to fully collapse anytime soon. He told me to get on the bike and then told me to explain what had happened over the last few days.
I told him that I am in complete mourning over the death of my running career....for at least another year, if I can ever run again. I changed my tennis shoe laces to black and painted my toenails black. My chances of returning to running again after having both of my ankles completely reconstructed is slim to none.
I told him how I had cried every day since my ankle collapsed, but that I was trying to make it one day without breaking down. He told me that if I cried during an appointment, he would also cry. I don't think that he knew in that moment how much that show of support meant to me. Having the support of my therapist is the only reason that I am still hanging on. I literally would have quit and given up already if it weren't for my therapist that believes in me and my recovery more than I believe in myself at this point.
The appointment was tough to get through because I had to cut back on all of my exercises. My left was hurting, because now it is compensating for my right, which is completely non-functional.
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