Year 2: April Update

*Left: 16 months*   *Right: 11 months*

April started off rough for me.

Ankle Pain

I felt the familiar tingling pain in my posterior tibial tendons of my ankles that I felt before both of them failed and led to me getting my surgeries.  It was really unexplainable because I have been paying such great attention to how my feet feel during and after every workout to make sure that I am not pushing myself too far.  In this moment of terror over some of the pain returning, my mind came up with a million "What if?" scenarios.  Around the same time, I happened to watch a random movie that had a firefighter coming back from an injury.  His motto was to stay off the What If? Bus.  When my friends and colleagues commented on the fact that I was limping again and my spirit was breaking, that is how I responded when they asked me what this return in pain meant for my road to recovery.


Repeat after me:  We are NOT going to take a ride on the What If? Bus.

The only What if? I entertained was: What if this will pass as quickly as it came on?

Only one choice ------------------------->



The Plague

I later found out that my ankle pain may have been an early warning signal that I was getting sick.  A few days later, I came down with a high fever, body aches, nausea, vertigo, a cough....just to name a few of my symptoms.  I rarely get sick, as in 1 bad time every few years and nothing but 1-2 day colds/viruses in between.  I took to my normal regimen of NyQuil and DayQuil cold and flu, which contain a nice cocktail of drugs that fight almost any illness.  It was a Tuesday when I first realized I was coming down with something.  By Wednesday morning, I was full fledged sick, so sick that I had to cancel my classes and take the day off from work.  The next two days, I had things that I couldn't miss with my students, so I came in just for teaching and went straight home after that.  By the time I realized how sick I was, I had already missed the window that going to the doctor and getting some kind of prescription would help me.  So ultimately, I ended up on literal bed rest for an entire week.  No workouts.  Bare minimum work.  It took the whole next week to get back into my normal routine.

The only perk of getting sick-> Forced rest for my feet.  It wasn't nearly as hard to take a week off of training since I was too sick to train anyways.  By the time my body felt better, my feet did too.  Crisis averted.

TRI Training

My swimming continues to improve.  I'm sub 6 mins at the 300m distance now, despite missing 3 practices due to my illness.

In terms of biking, now that the weather is warmer, I'm biking outside a few times a week.  My handling and overall riding skills are improving.  My biggest weakness is climbing hills.  My lower body power and calf strength took a huge hit with all that non and partial weight bearing time.  I'm working on my leg strength in my gym workouts but it will take more time to get back to my pre-surgery power.

Running- well, we know I can't quite do that yet.  I have developed an awesome power/race walk technique.  I am technically walking (one foot is always on the ground), but at more of a jog rhythm.  I do walk/jog intervals fairly well by alternating this type of walking with more traditional jogging.  It has brought my mile time down considerably, now hovering between 12 and 13 mins per mile.  Speedy!!!!

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014- The most AMAZING Day!

5:00 am- Alarm

5:05 am- Win #1: Checked email and saw that I had received the top rankings possible in my first peer faculty evaluation (Another faculty member observed my teaching and wrote an evaluation)

5:45-7:15 am- Win #2: Swim practice, another great workout

9:00 am- Win #3: Found out that my local bike shop opened early enough for me to drop my bike off before going to work.  After a near crash on the Sunday prior to this day, I needed to get the gears checked out and routine maintenance performed.

10:25 am- Win #4: Received a phone call from a neighboring university telling me that I was selected for a prestigious research fellowship to be completed alongside my faculty position at my university

10:30 am- Win #5: As I was on the phone with the previous person, I received a call from one of my research mentors giving me the opportunity to join her in writing a grant.

11:15 am- Win #6: As I was teaching, I received a call from a company rep telling me that an expensive piece of equipment I ordered is due to be shipped (after a few months of jumping through hoops for approval from my university)

4:30 pm- Win #7: The health statistics course I created finally got formally approved to be added to our curriculum after almost 4 months stuck in the approval process.

5:30 pm- Win #8: I went to pick up my bike and they returned my bike with the gear problems fixed and the tune-up performed...all FREE of charge!  My bike is fixed meaning I can get back out on the road AND it didn't cost me anything??? So cool.

After picking up my bike, I went home, ate dinner, showered, and jumped in my bed.  I stayed up past midnight reflecting on what an amazing day it was.  I didn't want it to end.  In one day I had achieved so much greatness professionally and physically.   I guess I have built up a lot of good Karma with everything that I have been through.

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Reflection

I stayed positive and dodged a major bullet with my feet.  They weren't really re-injured.  I fought trough my sickness and got my life back on track to set up for one of the best days of my life.  After a short sick leave break, I continued to stick to my training.  My first race since my surgeries, a sprint triathlon (300m pool swim/12 mile bike/5k run) is in a few weeks.  Physically, I feel ready. Mentally....not sure, that is another battle I will have to fight.  The pieces of my life continue to fall back into place.  I am learning day by day just how strong I am and was to make it through these surgeries to present, a place where I am excelling again in all areas of my life.

And...classes have ended for the spring semester.  Just finals to go before completing my first year as a college professor!

Year 2: March Update

*Left: 15 months*   *Right: 10 months*

March has been a great month for training progress.  I'm a genuine swimmer now, my jogging is improving, my feet are tolerating more advanced exercises, and I had an excellent Spring Break, leaps and bounds better than the Spring Broken from last year.

Swim

I have cut oodles of time off of my swims.  At the beginning of the month we did some timed swims.

6 min swim: 300m in 6:38

4 min swim: 200m in 4:25

2 min swim: 100m in 1:55

Before my surgeries, I swam 50s in 1:15, 100s in 3:00.  My current goal is to average around 1 min per 50, so 2 mins every 100.  My 300 and 200m swims are just over my goal, and my 100m swim is under.  At the end of this particular practice, I told my coach my goal, and he made me swim 6 x 50m on 1:15, meaning that I had 1 min to swim the 50s in and 15 seconds to recover before swimming the next one.  I did it!  I came in sub 1 min in every single 50!

Other accomplishments:
-swam my first 25m with no breaths (I've been trying for weeks to do this)
-learned how to swim breaststroke
-can swim across the pool kicking with no fins!  (My ankle flexibility has held back my kicking skills considerably, so I have previously had to use fins for all kicking drills)
-can consistently swim sub 30 secs for 25s, sub 1 min for 50s, and sub 2 mins for 100s
-swam with a parachute attached to my waist for extra resistance
-not fighting my alarm clock at 5 am anymore to wake up for swim practice

Jog Progress

Intervals are at 3.5 and 4.6 now (3.5, 3.7, 4.3, 4.6).  I'm still walking 1 min and jogging 1 min for about 30 mins.  I have also mixed in walking hill programs every now and then.

High Impact Tolerance

In addition to jogging better, I can do the stair machine (climbing flights on top of flights on top of flights), planks with my feet supporting me, jumping plyometrics, and even boxing!  My feet are responding well to everything I am doing and I am starting to really enjoy exercise again.  I actually have a variety of things I can do now.

Spring Break

Due to my career choice, I get to stay on the college schedule (muahhahahahaha)...meaning I had a week off for spring break.  Two spring breaks ago I ran my first marathon, last spring break, I had a meltdown because I couldn't do anything, being just a few months post my first surgery.  This spring break, I got to cheer on and support a friend running her first half marathon (she was my original running buddy from college), and I also leisurely made the hour and a half drive home to spend the week with my family.  Cheering my buddy on was bittersweet because every cell in my body wanted to be able to run the race with her.  It was excruciating to watch all the runners check in and wait in anticipation for the race to start, and even worse hearing the start gun and the runners race off, knowing I can't run.  I couldn't help but be jealous of them.  I have watched my running dreams get blasted to pieces. I have slowly and ever so carefully been picking them up over the last year and building a new dream.  Other than that short-lived down moment, I really enjoyed relaxing at my house with my family.  I also submitted an abstract to an international conference.  If it gets accepted, it will be my first international presentation.

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Reflection

The way I feel being able to accomplish physical goals again is so wonderful that it is indescribable.  I have been disabled/barely abled for the last two years.  My confidence and spirit broke with my body.  With every day that passes, I feel ME coming back; I feel strong again.  I am so grateful for my swim coach and my Masters swim team for pushing me to become a better swimmer and supporting and encouraging me along the way.  As my swims have improved, my body has gotten stronger, which has translated into improvements in my other workouts.  My feet are feeling so good that I almost forget that they have been through reconstruction surgeries.  My life is feeling really normal again, with barely any limitations.  I am continuing to make strides professionally and personally as well.  Simply put, right now, LIFE IS GOOD.

Year 2: February Update

*Left: 14 months*   *Right: 9 months*

The major highlights of this month included swimming like crazy, riding my bike outside again, doing brick (bike->"run") workouts, and doing walk/jog intervals.  I've also been able to wear more normal shoes and work my way back into wearing wedges!

Swim

I have stuck with my Masters swim team training twice a week.  I can easily swim well over 2,000m a workout and my technique, speed, and stamina are all improving.  I am really enjoying practice.  It is hard work but also really refreshing.

Bike and Brick Workouts

The weather was tolerable (around 50 degrees) a few days this month, so I took my bike out on the road again.  My new training course is where they are building this new road by my apartment.  It really isn't officially opened yet, but they are finished with this section of it.  The best thing is that the roads are super smooth and there are almost no cars on it.  I repeat a 1 mile loop that includes going up and down hills and some technical turns.  It has really helped my handling skills.  I have been riding my bike on the indoor trainer for most of the winter, so this course has been good practice for me to get re-acclimated to outdoor riding.

I have also started brick workouts.  Bricks are combination workouts that triathletes do to practice the transition between the sports, as it happens on race day.  They include swim-bike, bike-run, and swim-run workouts.  I have been focusing on the bike->run transition.  I ride my bike for 45 mins or so, quickly put my bike away, throw on my running shoes, and go for a 20-30 min walk/jog.  My body is responding well to these workouts.


Walk/Jog Intervals

I found this great interval program on the treadmill at my gym.  It does 4 intervals, all 30 seconds each.  You select the "rest" and the "work" speeds.  When I first started, I selected 3.0 and 4.0, which consisted of 3.0, 3.3, 3.7, and 4.0, all for 30 seconds each.  I generally set it to go for 30 minutes.  At these speeds, I walked all the intervals.  My ultimate goal will be to jog for 30 minutes continuous.  That is the usual minimum standard of fitness for beginning any run training program.

 As I started getting better, I increased the speed.  By the time I was able to do 4.3 as my highest speed, I began to jog.  The first time that I jogged, I was confused with my running form.  I didn't know whether I would heel strike (my natural form) or mid-foot strike (the form I have done for the last few years).  I tried to convince myself to heel strike, since that would be the most protective running form for my weak tendons, but it wasn't happening.  What surprised me the most was that once I had a little bit of speed going on the belt, my body snapped back into auto pilot, to the form that I used for running marathons.  My shoulders were relaxed, my arm movement limited, my hands in a comfortable semi-fist, and my breathing calm and controlled. As I got going, I realized that mid foot striking was what my body remembered and what felt the most comfortable.  All this time, I have wondered how my body would respond to "running" again.  Through all the rehab,  I haven't been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It seems that just like the heel raises where one day I could suddenly do them, eventhough just the day before I couldn't, my run form returned.  I have almost instantly gone back to my former form, like a light bulb turning on.  Of course I was going really slow, only for 30 seconds, and my strides are shorter, with a faster cadence, but overall, it was just like my old self.

Currently, I am doing 3.0 and 4.5, which makes the treadmill go at 3.0, 3.5, 4.3, and 4.5.  I jog both the latter intervals, so it turns out to be 1 minute walking and 1 minute jogging per rep.




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Reflection

Throughout this month I have worked on living my life freely again, the way I was before my surgeries.  I have let go of the past and am working towards my future again.  I have lifted the restrictions on my life and returned to fighting for my goals.  As my feet are continuing to improve, all areas of my life are following suit.

I'm busting walls down and lighting matches daily...

Year 2: January Update

*Left: 13 months*   *Right: 8 months*

This month, I hit my 1 year anniversary of my left foot surgery, started my second semester as a college professor, and began triathlon training again.

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First Masters Swim Practice

The swim instructor at my university has been trying to get me to swim with the Masters Swim team since I first got here.  My hesitations were that my feet were not ready for serious swim training, that I don't have enough swim experience to hang with a serious swim team, and that the practices are at 5:45 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  

On January 21st, 2014...

I finally overcame my fears and went to my first organized swim practice...ever.  I had to wake up at 5 am!  5 AM!!!  I threw on my swimsuit, packed up my gear bag, ate some whole wheat toast, and drove in the pitch black to my university pool.  In between the yawns, I gave myself a pep talk.  You can do this.  You are an athlete.  You don't know how it will go until you try. You had both of your feet reconstructed, so just being in the pool again is an accomplishment.

I walked in and started taking my warm clothes off.  The weather was in the 30s, so I had on a ridiculous amount of layers.  I grabbed a kick board, a pull buoy, and some fins.  I made my way towards the coach and the other swimmers to introduce myself.  The coach told me to pick a lane and to do as much or as little as I wanted to do with the team.  During the warmup, it was obvious that these swimmers were legit.  They so easily swam lap after lap including flip turns. I was already overwhelmed and we hadn't started the actual workout yet.  I did my best to hang in there rep after rep, set after set, and by the end of the practice, I had swam 1800m!!!  It was clear to me that I have some work to do on my speed, but technique wise, and stamina wise, I could keep up.  When my coach said go, I went.  Every time.  I only missed a rep here and there due to the other swimmers being faster than me.

My coach also took the time to teach me flip turns at the end of practice.  My swim training prior to this has been specifically for open-water triathlon swimming.  So even during my pool workouts, I did not do flip turns, or push aggressively off the wall, because there are no walls in the open water.  I was quite dizzy practicing, but I picked the technique up quickly.

I didn't only do well at the flip turns, my coach gave me compliments on my swimming.  He couldn't believe that this was my first organized practice and that I taught myself how to swim via youtube, articles on the internet, and tips from my training buddies.

I felt a great sense of accomplishment on the way home.  I hung with the Masters swim team, with very little swim experience, faulty feet, and a lower level of conditioning than I'm used to due to the lost training time with my surgery recoveries.  How did I do it?  Pure determination.

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For the rest of the month, I continued going to swim twice a week (making improvements with each practice), kept my walking up, and worked on strengthening and functional training exercises at the gym.

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In other news, I also bought my first car!  I have been in school for a really long time and reliant on my parents.  I have been fortunate to drive the cars they purchased for me since I was 16.  This was a huge step for me because I handled the entire purchase from start to finish.  I test drove multiple cars from various companies, selected the right one with all the features and the color I wanted (an orange copper color), negotiated the price, and signed all the papers.

Best part about it: I have a brand new SUV (that is big enough to fit my bike in the back), with all the bells and whistles, and I am completely financially independent from my parental units.

This girl is growing up!!!

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Reflection

With the new year, new car, and passing my first one year post-surgery mark, I feel a new chapter starting.  It's time to put these surgeries behind me and move on with my life.

1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!

*Left: 1 year surgery anniversary*

31,536,000 seconds
535,600 minutes
8,760 hours
365 days
52 weeks
1 year!!!

I am 1 whole year post my left foot reconstruction surgery.  My left foot and I have made it to our first anniversary.  Our lovely relationship has had its fair share of ups and downs, but I am happy to report that I am doing much better than I was pre-surgery.

All of the pain, suffering, struggling, tears, worrying, time, and hard work was absolutely worth it for where I am today.

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My Day

I stayed up late last night tossing and turning in excitement for this day to come.  I had a bundle of emotions swirling inside of me.  To be honest, I'm in shock to be here, to have survived 365 days of the recovery from this surgery, not to mention my other surgery thrown in halfway and the major life changes that I went through this year.

When I woke up for work, I couldn't figure out what to wear.  This was such a big personal day for me.  How does a survivor, rather CHAMPION dress?  Generally, during the snoozing game I play with my alarm clock, I envision my outfits daily, before getting out of bed, every piece, down to the shoes, and even the jewelry.  Today, I was stumped...

I finally put together a mega fierce outfit, to represent the battle that I have been fighting.  I wore my tiger-striped blazer, ready to "Roar" as in the Katy Perry song.  And...I also wore some baby wedges, Clarks as usual, for the first time to work.

I had two classes to teach.  In the back of my mind, the whole time I was teaching, I was thinking of how far I have come and how my new students and colleagues really have no idea of the depth of my struggles over the past year.  Now I can blend in...

The first thing people notice about me now is ME, NOT my weird footwear (boots, casts, braces, tennis shoes, old lady flats), NOT my assistive devices (wheelchair, walker, crutches), NOT my irregular gait, and due to the wonderful winter season and the invention of tights, NOT my scars!

After my first class was over, I was thrilled to be ABLE to walk across campus to teach my second class, and walk back at its conclusion.  That trek is all uphill and includes many many stairs (See my former post in December 2013 about walking across campus for the first time).

After work, I went for my first swim since the winter holiday break.  I was a little sluggish from being out of the pool a few weeks, but happy to be back at work on my ultimate goal of regaining my fitness, and of course, running again.

One of my colleagues and dear friends, who also trains with me, forced me to go out after for dinner and drinks.  She refused to not let me celebrate this day.  I can't thank her enough for making me pause to really take in how far I have come over the past year.

What are the highlights?

~ I SURVIVED 2 complete ankle reconstruction surgeries, which left me with 9 scars, 4 titanium screws, and 1 pin between my feet

~I LEARNED how to walk again from scratch, not once...but twice!

~I successfully COMPLETED my dissertation study, wrote it up, defended it, and GRADUATED with a PhD in Exercise Physiology, in a mere 3 absolutely insane years...and by the age of 26

~I LANDED my first full-time faculty position, and first "real" job after a 7 year college career

~I PICKED my life up and MOVED from the only place I have known in my adult life to return to my home state (and where my family lives) for my new job

~ I got PROMOTED to a Tenure-Track Assistant Professor faculty position

~ I FOUGHT tooth and nail through 8-months of physical therapy to finally get RELEASED from rehab "jail"

~I RE-GAINED the ability to swim, bike, walk/jog, and go to the gym for fitness, not just for rehab



How are my feet?

1) They are looking A LOT straighter from behind with normal arches

Left Foot

Left picture: pre-surgery

Right picture: 1 year post

Right Foot

Left picture: pre-surgery

Right picture: 7 months post

2) My scars are becoming lighter, softer, and more skin-like overall

Left Foot (1 year post)
 tendon transfer scar

Left Foot (1 year post)
 calcaneal osteotomy heel screw scar

Left Foot (1 year post)
 gastrocnemius recession/achilles lengthening scar

Left Foot (1 year post)
 lateral column lengthening and calcaneal osteotomy scars

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Right Foot (7 months post)
 calcaneal osteotomy heel screw scar

Right Foot (7 months post)
 gastrocnemius recession/achilles lengthening scar

Right Foot (7 months post)
 lateral column lengthening and calcaneal osteotomy scars

3) I can perform all activities of daily living without assistive devices, braces/tennis shoes, or chairs, including walking with a normal gait, going up and down stairs, standing for cooking, and shopping for hours, with minimal pain and soreness.  (I did keep my shower bench because my feet are tired at the end of the day, which is when I typically take my showers)

4) I can do double-legged heel raises, and can put some space between the ground and my heels on the single-legged heel raises, but can't complete full raises yet.


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Reflection

I feel at peace and whole again.

And...

And, my biggest piece of advice for others and my key to success:

Believe you can succeed, put in the work, and never, NEVER, EVER quit, because...

The fight for my dream of running again continues...

Day 211 (351): Happy New Year!

New Year, New Me!

This year, I want to focus on moving past my feet issues and the surgeries I went through.  I want to spend less of my energy worrying if I'll ever run again and more living life with the cards I have been dealt.

However, my two resolutions both have three letters and they have everything to do with me running again.

Resolution 1:  R-U-N

Resolution 2: T-R-I

I will hit both of my 1 year milestones and beyond from my surgeries this year.  Full recovery takes over a year, so I think this will be more of a defining year than the last.  I think it will be the year that I get my answer to that burning question I have about running again.

My feet feel great and I think that I am only months away from running, which means I should be able to do a triathlon this summer.  That is my goal, but I will understand if I have to push my return to racing back.  I am not saying that I won't be disappointed and it wont hurt a little, ok a lot, but I can't rush this.  Recovery simply takes time.

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A note about my blog:

Now that my feet conditions aren't changing as rapidly as they were in the first several months after my surgeries, I don't have as much to document about my journey.  I will go from posting daily/weekly to posting updates as major things happen, but I don't expect to drop below one monthly update post for at least all of 2014.  I know that one of the things that happens with documenting a condition like mine, is that when we get better, we stop posting. I have read those types of comments on other foot problems forums and blogs.  For those that have read my blog with similar conditions, or future readers that may find themselves in my situation, I want them to know what the long term success[...or failure] may be.  So for that reason, I will post on, just less frequently.

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Happy New Year!!!

Day 210 (350): 30/50 Week Update + NYE

*Right: 30 week surgery anniversary*

*Left: 50 week surgery anniversary*


30 weeks and 50 weeks!  I am knocking down time like it is a pin at the bowling alley.

2 weeks until my one year for my left foot!

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My mom and I went walking again today.  We love going walking together, and this break is the first time in over a year that I have been able to enjoy being active with her.


Walk
Duration: 00:35:46
Average Speed: 3.50 mph
Distance: 2.09 miles

It was a short and sweet walk.  It was my first time back on a trail that I used to train for marathons on.  It was the same trail that I ran 10 miles for this first time on.  That was Christmas Day, two years ago.  It was rather eerie going around the turns and up and down the hills.  It was as if I could remember every step of my former runs.  It was a huge déjà vu moment for me.  It also prompted me to realize that I have gotten good at just feeling numb through experiences like this.  Don't get me wrong, I was happy to be back on the trail and happy to do a measly 2 miles...that is a huge success for what I have been through.  But I can't help but flashback to my former life and remember the feeling of running and being so committed to my fitness goals that I woke up early on Christmas Day, stuck to my running program,  and completed 10 miles in preparation for my first half marathon that I had coming up a month later.  Today, It seemed like I felt small surges in my heart, the feeling of it shattering to pieces, but ultimately I kept myself together, not feeling too happy to be back on the trail and not too sad to not be back to running.  Like I said...numb, I didn't even cry.  That is how I have learned to deal.  I know it is only temporary and I'll go back to feeling the full impact of the ups and downs of life, but not yet.  I am not through this, but I will be someday.

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New Year's Eve Summary

No heels, no sparkles, no killer outfit, sober New Year's Eve.  Also a good one, because I spent it with my family.   And the most important part, I made it to New Years.  There were days this year that I didn't know if I would live to see the next year.  So this day is also a victory...and I'm almost to the one year mark for my first surgery.

Just after counting down to midnight and taking a ginger ale toast with my family (lame, I know, especially considering I am the youngest at 26), I went up to my bed and did my normal nightly PT exercises.

The grind continues...