It was Day 70. Today, is Day 50 for the second surgery. I am 20 days ahead of schedule. 20 days!
Day 50 of the first surgery was when I first met my current therapist. So much has happened between then and now. Months of therapy, another surgery, and more therapy. I told my therapist this and he was equally shocked of how long we have come in this journey. It really is true that time flies.
When I walked into the treatment area, the summer high school volunteers were absolutely shocked to see me walking. It was pretty funny to see their reaction. My therapist was like, "You do realize that patients get better, right?" Their reaction was similar to the reaction of my students when I finally started walking upright. They didn't realize how tall I was.
For therapy, I started with riding the bike for 8 minutes. This was my first time on the bike with my new shoe gear. It certainly felt strange. It was much easier to pedal while my foot was in the boot. I have trouble with the down stroke. It is at the edge of my flexibility with the calf and achilles lengthening. Not painful, just uncomfortable. After, we did a short massage/ROM session and then I was off to do exercises. Pretty much the same as I have been doing, just in the tennis shoe instead of a boot. I talked to my therapist about the thoughts I was having yesterday. He obviously has worked with athletes before and their struggle to return to their sport after a major injury. I really wanted to know how he thinks I can get back to training. First, he said that I should't even consider "training" for a long time. Of course in my mind, my only motivation to work out is to train for something. I don't just go to the gym and do some random bout of physical activity for my health. I have to be reaching for a goal, so I never call it working out, I call it training. He went further and said that I shouldn't use my therapy as training when I move, that I should just focus on rehabbing my foot without any races on the calendar and without following a specific training program. He told me that I basically have to become an awesome power walker before I can think about running again. He wants me to gradually increase my speed, distance, and tolerance for walking. He recommends that I be able to walk for an hour at an aggressive treadmill speed pain-free before starting to run. And of course, just keep taking everything one day at a time.
With these surgeries, I have done a lot of "cognitive reframing," which is the psychological term for changing your perspective. Basically, changing the way you think about something in your life. I could open my own custom frame shop at this point. Doing therapy and working out to get better without training is something that will take me a little bit to digest. When I went through my first surgery, I wanted to keep as much fitness as possible so that I could literally return to training as soon as my foot was cleared. I was doing all kinds of functional training and preparatory exercises to be ready for my return to tris. I had my heart set on doing a tri this month, before I moved. I think that if it were only my left foot in the conversation that I could have been ready. With this surgery, I haven't been able to do much because I didn't want to jeopardize my new left foot. Now that my right foot is better, I am inclined to want to train again, to pick a goal race, put it on the calendar, and follow the necessary training plan to be ready for it. I have to change my way of thinking and just be "ok" with following through with my recovery without the treat of racing as motivation.
My foot took well to rehab today. It was sore when I finished, but nothing the GameReady couldn't handle.
When I got home, I continued packing, and then I had my farewell dinner with some of my closest friends. By the end of the night, my right foot was ridiculously swollen. I wore the boot to dinner so that I wouldn't have to bring any assistive devices with me, so it should have been fine. I am not sure if the swelling was from pushing it hard at PT, or being seated at the restaurant without it elevated for a while, or even the sodium in the food. It may have been a combination of all three, but it was swollen the worst it has been in quite a while. So much so that I couldn't get it to go all the way flat.
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Reflection
1) I am making great progress.
2) I know that I still have quite a long road ahead of me and that I need to shift away from being so goal oriented and just go with the flow in my recovery.
3) My feet have their limits and they will continue to cramp my lifestyle until they are fully recovered. They are happier when I follow their rules and just sit at home and ice and elevate them all day, but I am happier when I follow my own rules. I wanted to enjoy my farewell dinner and that I did. I will be paying for it the next couple of days, but that is how my life is now.
4) I have to continue to believe in my medical team and stick with my PT exercises if I want to change my circumstances.
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