On Endurance Racing: A love that has been lost...

It was just a normal day at swim practice where we were asked to do an endurance set after our normal warmup and stroke drill sets.

5 x 300 yd (ugh!)

I started just fine, and somewhere in the middle of the workout, after swimming too many yards to count, it hit me.  I DON'T LOVE ENDURANCE SPORTS ANYMORE!  I'M NOT EVEN "IN LIKE" WITH THEM ANYMORE.  I have spent my entire life as an anaerobic/power athlete who primarily played team sports before I had a moment of inspiration in grad school to pick up endurance running.  I think the initial draw for me was proving to myself that I could train myself to cover long distances, that I could gain that level of cardiovascular fitness.  It was also to experience what those sports were like, as that is one of the major focus areas of Exercise Physiology.  I didn't want to earn a PhD in it without fully experiencing all aspects of sports myself.  It adds to my credibility that I know more than the science side.


I spent over a year building up my endurance base before my surgeries.  I've been through hell and back twice (two surgeries), fighting to walk and run again, and to get my endurance base back over the last 2+ years.  I am to the point where I can actually race again, rather than just survive to the finish line, and now that I've reached my goal, I've completely lost interest.  What exactly is fun about swimming for over a mile in the open water, or biking or running for hours on end?  NOTHING.  It is something if you haven't been there, done that before.  (Don't let my rant deter you from ever trying endurance racing, because it is awesome...the awesomeness just wears off after awhile.) I've played many sports in my life (dance, tee ball, soccer, gymnastics, cheerleading, tennis, softball, basketball, track and field, swimming, cycling) and have crossed many finish lines (5K (too many to count), 10K, half marathon (2), full marathon, 8 triathlons), and am over the thrilling sense of accomplishment you get when you win the big game, or give the performance of a lifetime, or cross the finish line.

What I had to overcome, the strength I had to summon, the pain I had to ignore, and all the voices shouting NO that I had to silence to get to the finish line of my full marathon, no one can take away from me. However, I'm over that feeling at this point because I have crossed the finish line of every distance running event up to a full marathon, and now every tri distance except half and full iron distance.  Maybe I am also over it after realizing that what I had to go through to learn how to walk again from scratch twice and return to living a "normal" lifestyle again was much harder than any athletic or academic feat that I have ever accomplished.  My half distance triathlon comes up next month, so I will have crossed every finish line in the tri world too, except for full iron, and I don't think that I will ever want to do that.  Per my race report from my international distance aquabike, I just don't like being out on a race course for hours and hours on end.



Maybe I got into doing longer runs and tris because I thought I couldn't call myself a "runner" or a "triathlete" if I didn't do the ultimate distances in each sport-> full marathon and full iron distance triathlon, respectively.  But I am happy to have a good head on my shoulders and realize the error of my ways.  Why do we always say, "Just" a 5k or sprint triathlon when referring to the shorter distances.  It's not "just" anything, those are accomplishments too, certainly different from the long stuff, but you're a runner and a triathlete the moment you do any distance race, not "just" when you do a full marathon or full iron distance triathlon.  I had the most fun that I have ever had when I did the super sprint race back in August, a race I frowned upon for years because it wasn't a "real" triathlon.  Bullshit.  Does it have a swim, bike, and a run component? Yes you say? Then it is a triathlon.  It doesn't matter what the distances are.  I had so much fun because I could go all out and see what I was really made of instead of trying not to light all my matches and blow up too early (hit the wall), as you have to worry about in the longer races.  Maybe I just TRIed so hard to get back to a place where I felt I was worthy to call myself an endurance athlete again after my surgeries and in the process I lost sight of the fun of it all.  


After this next long race, I am going to focus on my swimming races, which are sprints!!!! I am a far
better sprinter (back to my original nature and physiological predisposition) than long distance swimmer.  I'll be competing in 50s, and 100s in the different strokes + IM- Individual Medley Relay (all 4 strokes) and think that I am going to focus my tri training for next season on going fast for super sprints and sprints.  I think that I am hanging up the towel on races that are over 2 hours at this point.  Maybe I will find my inspiration for the longer stuff again, but at this moment, I just want to have fun and embrace the challenge of going all out, giving it everything I have, until I touch the wall or cross the finish line...