May was a pretty great month.The ups were that I was able to get my first pedicure since my surgeries (even though the nail lady was quite alarmed by all of my scars), completed a sprint triathlon, my first race since my surgeries, and finished my first year as a college professor with a bang.
The downs came at the end of the month. I traveled to the major conference in my field, and by the time I finished flying, got checked into the hotel, and met up with my colleagues, my feet were screaming! At a conference, there is so much walking, and on top of that all of the restaurants were a mile or more away from the hotel. The first night I had to stop and rest on the side of the road while my group waited for me. I told them to go ahead and that I would catch up with them later, but they refused to go. As much as I know they were trying to support me, it made me feel terrible because I felt like a second class citizen again. One that can't keep up with basic activities of daily living. After my feet were so inflamed and painful the first day, it was hard to get them back to a happy place with all the walking that was ahead of me in the following days at the conference. Not to mention having to stand for close to 2 hours in front of the scientific poster that I presented.
The trip did end on a high note with a visit to Disney. With the help of my ankle braces and tennis shoes, I did close to 30,000 steps and conquered Magic Kingdom just fine.
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Reflection
I'll never be able to snap my fingers and say that my recovery is over, that my feet are perfect again, that I won't be held back by them at all. What I do need to do is continue to stay positive and focused on moving through the struggles instead of getting caught in clouds of doubt and worry.
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