Day 117 (257): Clipless Pedal FAIL + First Time Biking on a Trail

I made plans to go riding with a friend this afternoon.  I wanted to try out my clipless pedals today.  My therapist advised me to try to switch my pedals while my bike is on the stationary trainer to see if I can clip out.  Bad idea.  I strapped on my cycling shoes and mounted my bike.  I clipped my shoes in and completed one revolution before attempting to clip my right foot out.  It was like there was a ton weight that I had to push against to clip it out.  I was shocked that my feet couldn't do such a simple motion.  The pedals are designed to keep your foot attached to the pedal while you are cycling, but to be easy to clip out when you need to.  I have my pedals on the easiest clip out setting and it was still extremely difficult to get my right foot out.  I tried time and time again to get my left foot out, and nothing I tried worked.  I would try the clipping out motion to the point of piercing pain, let up, and try again.  I had nothing.  I couldn't do it.  I had to wrap my hands around my ankle and use them to force my foot out of the pedal.  Once I clipped out, I got off my bike immediately and changed my pedals back to flat pedals.  I'll have to ask my therapist for some strengthening exercises to work on before I try this again.  Being stuck to your bike is NOT fun.

Bike

Distance: 7.28 miles

Average Speed: 8.71 mph

Duration: 00:50:09

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Reflection

I had a terrible time at trying out my clipless pedals, but it didn't stop me from riding my bike on a trail for the first time.  This is only the second time that I have ridden my bike, and the first time out of the parking lot.  I handled my bike pretty well.  It will take several more rides before I fully trust my handling skills again.  Even before my surgeries, riding my bike is something that I had to face my fears to do every ride.  Most people assume that since I am a triathlete, I am not afraid of any of the sports.  To be honest, open water swimming and biking terrify me.  For swimming, it is the fear of the unknown in the water.  For biking, it is the speed and high likelihood of crashing that scares me.  I am proud to say that I conquered my fears today and enjoyed my ride.

Day 116 (256): Gym

I convinced myself to go to the gym and keep working on my feet.

Gym
15 mins running machine (A mix between and elliptical and an arc trainer that simulates a running stride)

All on a reebok stability platform:

2 x 10 foam pad step-ups

2 x 10 foam pad step downs

2 x 12 foam pad squats, shrugs, and dead lifts

then...

3 x 30 sec calf stretch on an angled calf stretch block

5 x 30 sec seated rope pull

3 x 30 sec standing rope drills

3 x 10 seated calf raises (no weight)

10 exercises x 20 reps of an ab circuit

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Reflection

Not my usual gym workout...mostly PT and functional training exercises.  I am working on re-summoning the athlete in me.  I may never be the same as before, but it won't stop me from trying.

Day 115 (255): Slowing down

After yesterday, I needed a day off.  By 10:00 am, I cancelled all of my after work plans for the day.  I went to work, taught my classes, finished up some of my prep work, and left my office just after 3 pm.  I rented some movies, picked up some food, and went home.  I watched movies from my couch (with my feet elevated of course) for the rest of the day.

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Reflection

I am doing absolutely everything in my power to ensure I make an excellent recovery.  There is nothing I can do to speed this up any more.  I needed to take today off to allow myself to refocus my mind.  Tomorrow is a new day...

Day 114 (254): PT Session #24 Meltdown

PT Session #24

5 mins elliptical
weighted baps board (inversion, eversion, and circles) --> This was just as difficult as it was the last time.  It pushes my ankles to their absolute ROM limits, and with the weights on it, their strength is also challenged.

Now on to the meltdown...

With my feet fatigued from the baps board exercises, I had to do the 5 cone touch exercise while holding a medicine ball.  I have been getting pretty good at this exercise, but I have never had to do it after the baps board before.  My feet were clearly tuckered out and aching already, which led to me losing my mental focus.  I was so frustrated at struggling through an exercise that I had already kind of mastered.  I couldn't keep my balance to save my life, and also had no will to fight for it.  I was so checked out that I actually sat down on a nearby table in between sets.  I NEVER take a break.  I always go straight through all of my exercises.  Today, I was just off.

After, I did backwards step ups with the bungee cord attached to my waist, and manual therapy.

This session couldn't end fast enough!

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Reflection

I cracked today.  I allowed my frustration to interfere with my progress.  It was one of those days that I felt the full weight of the struggle that I go through daily with these feet of mine.  I am so tired of all of this.  So sick of having to spend so much of my time just to try to get back the "normal" function of my feet.  Right after therapy, I had to go straight to work to teach.  I had to hold back the tears and give myself a serious pep talk on the drive from the clinic to school.  I couldn't let my frustration spill over to the other areas of my life today.  I put extra effort in behaving in my usual jovial and enthusiastic manner.  No one called my bluff.  If only I wasn't so good at hiding my pain at this point... 

Day 113 (253): Swim

Swim

Distance: 600 m (100 warmup easy, 4 x 100 hard, 4 x 50 hard)

Pool running, heel raises, and kicking drills.

Day 112 (252): 4/9 month update + PT Session #23

*Right: 16 week (4 month) surgery anniversary*

*Left: 36 week (9 month) surgery anniversary*


My feet are tolerating less elevation (during the day and most importantly also at night!), my feet are feeling better (less painful and achy), and also stronger.  I am making a real effort to take the stairs in and out of my building at work daily and to stop avoiding manageable standing, walking, and stair situations.

PT Session #23

5 mins elliptical, 6 cone touch with a medicine ball, backwards step ups (a few sets regular, then with the bungee cord attached to my waist), weighted baps board eversion and inversion (this is really difficult for me and uncomfortable), manual therapy (joint mobility and scars)

Walk
Distance: 2.09 miles
Average Speed: 3.10 mph
Duration: 00:40:31

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Reflection

I made it to 4 months!!!  I did really well in PT this morning AND I was able to walk 2 miles at greater than a 3 mph pace!  I am getting much faster, my gait is looking better, and I have a longer stride length.  I can go up stairs fairly well and manage going down.  I have a lot to work on, but it is clear that I have come a long way.  I have 2 more months of work to do before I am cleared for any high-impact activities and running.  My time will come...

Day 109 (249): Another Wedding (Almost a meltdown)

I had another family wedding to go to this weekend.  I picked out the cutest dress and accompanying jacket and jewelry to wear.  Then it came to the shoes...

I tried on a pair of my more stylish flats that went well with my outfit, and my feet couldn't tolerate them for more than 5 minutes walking around my parent's house.  I tried on another wishful pair, same result.  I then put on a pair of my sensible (code word for ugly) Clark's mary jane flats.  I really had a great outfit from ankle up and finally enough confidence to wear an outfit as flashy as that again...and then I had to put on the only shoes my feet would tolerate.  I had to give myself yet another pep talk to get over yet another hurdle on the road to my recovery.  I told myself to be happy that I am walking again, be happy that I am no longer wearing braces, be happy that I don't have to use assistive devices.  My personal style is a small price to pay for how much improvement my feet have made since my surgeries.


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Reflection

One day I will return to my fully confident self again.  Today is not that day, but I am well on my way.  For now...it is all about avoiding the meltdowns.  I talked myself out of another one today.

Day 108 (248): Swim

Swim

Distance: 600 m (4 x 100, 2 x 50, 4 x 25)

Pool heel raises and single leg heel raises (only in the deeper water)

10 mins of pool running

Day 107 (247): PT Session #22 + New Therapy Agreement

PT Session #22

5 min elliptical, seated weighted heel raises, 6 cone touch, manual therapy (scars and joint mobility)

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Reflection

My therapist and I came to an agreement today that I would work on strengthening outside of therapy, since I am already working out on my own so much (and because I am an exercise physiologist), and that in therapy, we would work on balancing exercises, proprioception, coordination, manual therapy, etc...basically things that I can't work on myself.  I am really happy with this agreement, because I feel like I can progress much faster with taking care of the "heavy lifting" (pun intended) on my own and the fine tuning in therapy.  It has taken quite a while for me to feel in sync with my therapist here.  I finally feel like we are on the same team, working together to get me the best outcome possible.  I got extremely lucky with my former therapist to feel this connection with him in the first few sessions.  I really needed a coach/teammate to get me through my first surgery, and he was there for me, encouraging and believing in me at every step.  I learned a lot with my first surgery, so with moving so soon after my second surgery, I was able to tolerate...rather survive carrying on with my recovery independently.  Even though I managed well on my own, it feels much better to have some support and someone else as invested in my recovery as I am again.

Day 106 (246): Gym Workout

Walked .5 miles to the gym.

At the gym, I walked 20 mins on the treadmill, gradually increasing my speed up to 3.0 mph.  After, I did a weight circuit.  I am continuing to work on strengthening my legs.

Day 105 (245): 15/35 week update + PT Session #21

*Right: 15 week surgery anniversary*

*Left: 35 week surgery anniversary*



Progress is still slow, but I am really enjoying training again.  I am getting better at walking day by day and am starting to feel stronger.

PT Session #21

5 mins elliptical, 5 x 5 cone touch, 10 bungee cord walks (front, and both sides), 3 x 10 squats on waffle board with 35 lb weight bar on shoulders (This exercise woke the athlete in me.  I was really proud that I was able to do this without much challenge.  It is not easy to balance on an unstable board, carrying weight on your shoulders, while doing squats...but I can do it!!!), manual therapy (scars)

Walk

Distance: 2.06 miles
Average Speed: 2.55 mph
Duration: 00:48:34

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Reflection

I am doing really well in PT and today was the first time I covered 2 miles in my walk.  It was a little bit of a struggle.  Notice the drop in speed.  I had to take a break for a few minutes around 1.7 miles, and then I finished up.  I only go as fast as I can go while maintaining a proper gait.  One of my old coaches once told me that "Practice does not make perfect, PERFECT practice makes PERFECT."  I keep that in my head as I do all of my PT exercises and workouts on the way to recovery.  The journey continues...

Day 104 (244): Swim + Walk

Swim
Distance: 600 m (3 x 50 w/ pull buoy, 50 kicking with feet= 200 m, repeated 3 times)

200 heel raises ( 100 between swimming sets)

Pool running for 20 mins- This felt so awkward because it is clear that I have completely forgotten my running form.  After a little while, I figured some sensible motion out.

Walk
Distance: 1.16 miles
Average Speed: 3.33 mph
Duration: 00:20:48

Day 103 (243): First Bike Ride!!!

Today, I took the shackles (indoor trainer) off of my bike, faced my fears, and rode my bike outside for the first time in almost a year.  My triathlon teammates at my alma mater had a big race today and did really well.  Following their stories inspired me to get back at it.  I can't use my clipless pedals and cycling shoes combo yet.  My ankles/legs/hips aren't strong enough to do the clipping out motion.  I rode my bike with regular flat pedals and tennis shoes.  I walked it to a parking lot a few blocks away from my apartment.  I stood there straddling my bike, frozen in fear to mount it.  I have a really light weight road bike that is optimized for racing.  It is not the type of bike you can just stroll down the street on.  You have to be serious about riding a bike like this.  With the orientation of the seat to the handle bars, I have to put pressure on one foot (already on its pedal) to give the boost I need to mount the seat, and immediately start pedaling so I don't fall over.  I have been riding it safely on my trainer for a long time, so I am out of practice of this skill.  I gave myself a pep talk and made it happen.  The first time I started on my bike, I was so shaky.  As I rode a little more, I got more confident.  Eventually, I was up to 15 mph in a parking lot!  I only rode for 20 minutes, because I didn't want to push my luck.  My body is out of practice of riding.  My bike also has one of those hard and extremely uncomfortable racing saddles.  I have to ease back in to riding.

Bike
Distance: ~4 miles
Average Speed: 11 mph
Duration: 20 minutes

Afterwards, I felt well enough to do a walk around downtown.

Walk
Distance: 1.24 miles
Average Speed: 3.40 mph
Duration: 00:21:51

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Reflection

Today, I felt FAST and FREE for the first time since my surgeries.  I vaguely remember this feeling of being limitless.  I got a small taste of it today as the wind was rushing past my face when I was riding my bike.  I have now returned to all 3 of my sports: swimming, biking, and walking...on the way to running again.  Returning to the sport of triathlon is a realistic goal for me.  Of course I am several months, maybe a year, away from being able to race again, but I can work with all my might to get my skills back in these three areas.  NO MORE FEAR!  NO MORE WORRYING!  I just have to do it...

Day 102 (242): First Home Football Game

Today was the first home football game at my new school.  I learned my lesson from my football adventures at my alma mater last weekend, so I wore my lace-up ankle braces with tennis shoes to the game.  My feet were sore afterwards, but performed fairly well. And the most important part...WE WON!!!

Day 101 (241): Walk + New Tennis Shoes

Walk
Distance: 1.71 miles
Average Speed: 2.45 mph
Duration: 00:41:59

New tennis shoes
After going to all the local running shops yesterday and not finding anything, I decided to see what Dick's Sporting Goods had.  Much to my surprise, they had a larger selection of running shoes than the running shops did, perhaps the largest selection I have ever seen in a sporting goods store.  I tried on a number of pairs, and then my eyes caught a pair of neon pink shoes.  Before getting too excited, I checked to make sure they were stability shoes.  THEY WERE!!! I have never seen such a cool looking pair of stability shoes.  They are usually in boring colors, really bulky, and look like they only belong on people 60+. Then I checked for my size.  They only had a 6.5 and a 10 left in this color.  I typically wear a 9.5 in tennis shoes, and the running stores I went to yesterday were trying to convince me that I wear a 9.  The 10 would be a stretch.  I tried on the 9.5's in another color, and they felt snug.  I tried on the 10's, and much to my surprise, they were a perfect fit.  I googled this pair of shoes and found reviews that the toe box is snug and they can be uncomfortable with extended wear when you go with your regular size.  I have always been a fan of having more space in the toes, because I have the type of feet that swell with exercise, especially now with my post-surgery feet.  The most important thing was that my ankles/heel/and midfoot fit snug in the shoe.  I walked around the store for about half an hour in the shoes to make sure my feet responded well and they wouldn't be too loose.  They passed the test, so I bought them!  At the checkout, I found out that Dick's has a 30 day test policy, so that made the purchase easier.  You can use the shoes for up to a month and return them if they don't work for you.

So without further ado...here are my most perfect new pair of stability tennis shoes:

Brooks Women's Adrenaline GTS 13

I already put some neon green tri-laces in them!

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Reflection

Sometimes if you are persistent...you get lucky!  I can't believe that I found such a perfect pair of tennis shoes.  I LOVE bright colors...especially NEON bright.  For the last couple of years now, I have been used to walking past all the cool looking shoes, right to the ugly stability shoe section.  Brooks has finally made a pair that is as cool looking as they are functional.   Today I am a happy camper.

100 Days!!!! (Right foot) + PT Session #20

100 DAYS!!!!

My feet were a little less painful when I woke up than they have been for the last couple of days.  I decided to wear tennis shoes to work again today (but I didn't wear the ankle braces).  I also took a golf ball (for working on the scar tissue on the bottom of my feet), bio oil (for massaging my scars), and a band (for working on ROM and strengthening exercises) to work today.  I designated a drawer in my office desk for my work PT supplies.

My feet managed work fine today.


PT Session #20

Bike (6 mins), 4 x 5 cone touch, 3 x 10 bungee cord step-ups, 3 x 12 waffle board squats with a 30 lb weight bar, standing baps board circles, manual therapy (incisions/towel on scars).

After PT, I went looking for a new pair of tennis shoes.  I went to all the local running stores and tried on a number of pairs, but none of them seemed to feel right.  My feet are so "young" that I am not sure they know what they want.

--------------------------
Reflection

This was the first day that I felt like an athlete again.  The squats on a waffle board while holding a weighted bar on my shoulders is a very complicated movement.  I handled those things like a pro.  I barely even bobbled my footing.  Feels good to feel some semblance of my old self again.  I made it to the 100 day mark...again...this time with my right foot.  I have come a long way and have even longer yet to go.  I must keep pushing...

Day 99 (239): Painful feet

My feet were in even more pain this morning.  They ached all night also.  I think that this weekend's festivities have finally caught up to me.  I took ibuprofen before work, and decided to wear my lace up ankle braces and tennis shoes to teach in.

I stayed off of my feet all day.

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Reflection

It is clear that I pushed my feet too far this past weekend.  I passed the test in terms of not letting my feet stop me from living my life, but I also failed.  I am not ready to be back to my old life yet.  Tailgating is too much for my feet.  I took today off from exercise to rest my feet.  They felt a lot better by the end of the day from wearing the braces all day.  The braces really help support and stabilize my feet.  I'm not sure if I will wear them again tomorrow.  I'll have to see how my feet feel when I wake up.

Day 98(238): 14/34 week update + PT Session #19

*Right: 14 week surgery anniversary*

*Left: 34 week surgery anniversary*


I woke up with unusually painful feet this morning.  So painful that I took a 600 mg ibuprofen before work.  I stayed off of them as much as possible while at work, in hopes that they would feel better for PT this afternoon.

PT Session #19


5 mins elliptical, bungee cord walks, step downs (3 x 15), trampoline ball throws while balancing on a foam pad (5 x 7 each foot), 4 cone touch (3 sets each foot), manual therapy (scars)

HW: work on scars, balancing on one foot, scar tissue on the bottom of my feet (roll feet over golf ball)

-------------------

When I got home, I did just over a mile walk downtown at an average of 2.8 mph.  My speed is slowly increasing!

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Reflection

Painful feet today, however, t's not going to stop me from making progress.

Day 97(237): Return to Public Gym

Today, I decided to go to a local gym that I am thinking about joining.  I went with two of my new colleagues after work.

Workout

Bike- 10 mins

Core Conditioning Class- 30 mins

Elliptical- 15 mins

The group fitness class was a psychological battle.  I am so accustomed to being the most trained person in the class.  I performed as well as most people, but I didn't dominate the class like I usually do.  There were also a few exercises that I had to modify to protect my baby-like feet.

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Reflection

I am really glad that I stepped over this hurdle and had enough confidence to go to a public gym.  On the other hand, I am really going to have to keep encouraging myself to make progress, no matter how small it is.  Also, I have to stop comparing myself to other people (who didn't have to get both of their ankles reconstructed) and my old elitely trained self.

Day 95 (235): Tailgate/Game Excitement

A benefit of having to fly to my old home for an appointment was being able to see my college team play one of our biggest games of the season.

I was worried about how my feet would handle tailgating and the game day experience.  I shouldn't have been, because they handled it like champs.  I walked/stood around tailgating for close to 4 hours.  My feet were fine.  Of course they were a little numb from the pressure put on them, but not too painful to enjoy myself.  During the tailgate, I met up with a bunch of my old friends, and I got to see my former therapist.  He was so happy to see me up and walking so well, and I was as equally happy to see him.  He was at the center of my support system for my surgery recoveries.  I've had to learn to continue my recovery without him, but it has only made me stronger.  At some point, you just have to claim your journey as your own.

I sat most of the game instead of cheering like a lunatic, as I usually do, to give my feet a rest from the stress I put on them tailgating.

At the end of the day, my feet were a little achy.  I elevated them at the hotel.

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Reflection

1) My team is AWESOME...because we won.  Pulled off a big upset.

2) I am going to continue living my life and regaining my independence.  Feet...you are no match for me.

Day 94 (234): Traveling + Post-op Appointment #3

I caught an early flight to my old city for my 3 month post-op appointment for my right foot.  The flight was no problem for my feet.  I made sure to pump my feet and flex my quads the whole flight to keep the blood flowing.

Post-op Appointment #3

I had a quiet confidence walking in to my appointment this time.  It was really the first time that I wasn't nervous for the bad news that I could hear.  I can "do" heel raises, I can walk 1.5 miles with no pain, I can swim and kick off the walls with both feet, and my pain level is pretty low now.  I was ready for this appointment.

The appointment started as usual, met with my doctor's assistants, took x-rays, and then met with my doctor.

He checked out my feet and I showed him my heel raises.  He was happy with how everything looked and didn't have much to say other than keep doing what I am doing (continue taking my recovery seriously, stick with my PT exercises, and don't try to do too much too soon).

Questions:

1) What is my timeline for return to high impact activities/running?  Wait another 3 months, until you are at the 6 month mark to try anything high impact.

2) What are some realistic physical goals for my future? Will I ever be cleared to run a marathon again? Triathlons?  Based on how well you have been committed to your recovery and how your feet look, I won't put any limits on your future abilities.  For other patients, I would tell them not to pursue those activities.  When you start running again and can do 5 miles without pain, then 10, and so on, you can do anything your feet will let you.  If you can work your mileage back up to marathon distance, I approve.  (I was so thrilled to hear my doctor say this.  I know that it will be a long shot to ever do longer endurance activities again, but at least there is some possibility, if my feet are willing.  Obviously, I have to be really smart with the stress I put on my feet going forward.  Basically double the time that you would traditionally prepare for races to make sure the progression is not too aggressive.)

3) What about footwear?   You can wear wedges/heels/any non orthotic footwear that your feet can tolerate in your normal life.  (I was absolutely shocked to hear him say this)  For exercise, stability tennis shoes.  He gave me a new prescription for custom orthotics for my tennis shoes only.  I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR ORTHOTICS FULL-TIME ANY MORE!!!!  He also gave me a lace up ankle brace for my right foot, the same one that I already have for my left.  These are only for times when my ankles are going to be under a lot of stress, or if they are particularly weak one day.

I made my next post-op appointment for ~6 months, got a new PT prescription, and I was on my way.  I left with some pep in my step with how well the appointment went.

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Reflection

Sometimes you don't hear bad news.  Sometimes you leave with hope.

Day 92 (232): Swim/Walk

Workout:

500 m swim
200 pool heel raises

Since I am mainly working on getting my stroke back during my swim, I don't get much cardiovascular conditioning out of it right now.  When I was done,  I drove home and walked a loop downtown.

1.57 miles in 40:36 mins at a 2.33 mph pace

Day 91 (231): 13/33 week update + PT Session #18

*Right: 13 week surgery anniversary*

*Left: 33 week surgery anniversary*



Nothing new to report.  Still working on strengthening my ankles and improving my heel raises and walking tolerance.  My new goal is to try to return to meeting the minimum physical activity recommendation of 30 mins per day.

Business as usual in PT.

Workout (after work): 1.63 mile walk in 36:28 at a 2.68 mph pace (Note: First time over 1.5 miles!!!)